knowing so much animal anatomy while nonhuman is a blessing and a curse at the same time

on one claw, learning anatomy can be very euphoric sometimes. learning the names of the bones of different species, how they attach to muscles, how they are situated in the body, how different organs work, etc is realizing that we are not so different after all… yes, my body is bipedal and plantigrade, but i have femurs and tibias and knee articulations just like cats. no, i don’t have wings or a tail, but my spine is made of the same material as birds. yes, i have to cook meat so i don’t get sick, but my stomach is the same shape as a dog’s. our bones follow the same pattern as most land mammals on earth, our organs perform the same function, and our muscles are made from the same kind of cells. learning animal physiology is learning human physiology because everything uses the same molecules. our dna is made from the same nucleotides as every other living being. we are just another animal.

but on the other claw. every new thing i learn is another thing to get dysphoric about. my scapulae are on my back, not on the sides of my body as they should be. i should be resting my weight on my phalanges, not my tarsals. my heart should be under my arm, not on the front of my body. my knees should be closer to my body. my neck should have more vertebrae than it does. my body moves wrong, my limbs have too much freedom of movement, but my spine is too inflexible. everything is either in the wrong shape, in the wrong place, or moving the wrong way, or just doesnt exist at all.